A Dedication To My Friend and Sister in Christ I Love and Cherish.
"The Letters To Rachel Project"
This site is not meant to demean nor defame my friend in anyway it is a heartfelt attempt at peace and reconciliation
Mark 10:27Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”
Dear Readers,
I do not care what the Church of New Jerusalem thinks of me and my campaign. I care what God thinks and the love He has given to me. See I have learned one thing in being patient. If you wait long enough and put your faith in God and not man everything works itself out. In the past 2 yrs the two people who hurt me the most besides Rachel have come back to my good graces because they realized that my love for them was true. Even someone who said they hated me and never wanted to see me again because I never gave up on her and I told her ex husband to take her back because she cheated on me with him, we made peace and are friends. I am not doing what I am doing as a form of hate, vengence, or revenge towards Rachel Myatt, The Myatt and Friesen Familes, or the Church of the New Jerusalem. I am doing what I am doing because I love Rachel and Jonathan Myatt and I am going to set a fire to that love so great in a couple of weeks that Rachel will not be able to hide from it. When you truly have God in your life you do not have to hide from thing when you have done wrong. You just ask the Lord's forgiveness, you come to those you have wronged or been wronged by and you stand up to them. Some people are not confrontational but it is because they are full of fear. I love the people who can dish out things but they cant take it. Rachel got shamed because I made a spectacle of her but in the process I have divulged deep and personal things about myself all over the internet. You know why? I am not afraid, I have nothing to hide, and I put God first over anyone else. I am not her to be some selfish sycophant obsessed with my own desires and pleasures. The saddest thing about this situation with Rachel and I is that she was willing to trade love and true friendship for lies and deception. I believed in her and she decieved me when I told her to be honest with me. If she had of told me how she felt then we would be on speaking terms, we would be amicable but she planned to lie to me, abandon me, and never talk to me again after saying she loved me and wanted to be with me. Do you know the emotional damage that did to me especially at a time when my morale and my heart was already broken from my mom dying. She told me she would be there for me and support me and she tore me down and abused me. I have been hurt and had my heart broken before but no one ever lied to me and treated me with such disrespect or bigotry as Rachel did. There is an underlying reason I am doing this and first it is to let Rachel know that I am going on with life and I am determined to let everyone I can know how people in the New Church value other Christians. Two to let the New Church know that the reason why they will never catch on with a lot of people is because they are narrow minded when they claim to accept others, they are pushy instead of patient, and they spend so much time on Swedenborg's writings and less time examining and only using certain parts of the Bible. To me the Bible is sacred you can have all the supplemental readings for your faith you want but if you dont apply what is in the Bible and you make up your own cannon to go against things that are in the Bible it is false and not of God. I dont care if you think I am disrespecting your faith because you believe Swedenborg to be divine I am sorry but I feel that he was not of Divine Providence he just wanted to not follow the rules of the Old Church so he made up things so he could sin and justify his sinning and the Pastors and Clergy in the New Church have shown me that in their replies about free will. I understand God gave us free will but he alone gave us commandments and guidelines to follow not someone that was regarded by many as going crazy in his later age. I don't claim to be a scholar nor have a theology degree but because of the way the Church of the Jerusalem treated me I am going to start a Theology degree next summer and write a book on the fallacies of The Church of the New Jerusalem. You say that I am not loving when all I did was love you people. You talk about excepting people but you exclude people from your little club by arrogance, bigotry, and the inability to listen to others love of God. Rachel showed me a side of Christanity I have never see a selfish self serving side. I dated a Catholic girl for 2 years and not once did she hesitate to pray with me even thought we prayed different we respected our need to communicate with God and she was getting her Masters in Catholic theology she never held that over my head or treated me like I was less than a person. Rachel a high school graduate, foster mom, unwed mother with no secondary education judged me and I never acted higher, loftier, or like I was better than her. I accepted her for all that she was. I am really asking the Clergy to look and listen to what I am saying and you need to evaluate Pastor Coleman Glenns role as a Pastor as I will be dissecting his comments to the public as a basis for my campaign. Fact is you all could have come to me in peace and I said I would have settled this between us in private if Rachel had the courage to do so but she lacks the insight, the courage, and the humility to do that. I have determination, I have drive, I know what it is like to constantly be doubted and in the end become victorious because I put God first. Its not a gloating victory but it is an intellectual victory of the mind when you know you put God first instead of your own selfish desires and wants. You say you are of Good and Truth but there was someone holding their hand out to you for love and to love back at a time when their whole world was falling apart. I never made excuses for loving Rachel I just kept living even though my mother was gone I gave everyone at the time all I could I worked, I loved, I lived and to have someone tell me I didnt love God, to lie about loving me and wanting to be a relationship with me, and to use their faith to put down mine. There is no way it is going to go unnoticed. So in the end I am a fighter and Rachel will know because of her selfishness and her deception and only caring about herself this is decending in the Church of the New Jerusalem. She has the means to come to me and end all this but she wont because she is too full of pride. She talked bad and evil about me and then I told the truth where everyone could see it and now she is ashamed and doesnt want to be seen. She tried to sweep me under the rug and I came out in the open exposing her lies and telling everything because I wanted her to know that evil on the scale that she participate in does not go unnoticed. She could be a hero and show great humility, kindness, and grace by making peace with me but she wont because she is so selfish. I have nothing but love for her but our friendship, our love, and our closeness was all a joke to her, nothing but smoke and mirrors. Rachel Myatt you meant something to me and I was willing to give you and Jonathan all of me despite all odds. I still would if you were humble enough to make peace with me. The video above is from a movie about to come out called "Here Comes The Boom" I am inspired by movies like this because they are about determination. Never give up is how I live my life and I have learned this is true because all the people I love are coming back to me now. Rachel you are the last person that I am waiting for your return. You are the best friend who I dont want to live without and you are too blind to see that. So if I have to campaign and make a viral fool out of myself to show you I love you in the next coming months again I will. Once again for Christmas the only thing I ask is that people pray for me and that Rachel will make peace with me. That is how much I love you Rachel Myatt , no material things will ever mean as much as you and Jonathan do to me. I just wish you knew that.
Had Rachel taken responsibility for what she did and said she wouldnt have tried to hide and pretend I never existed. Instead she gave me false hope, she lied, she caused irreprehensible damage to me and my family. She just expects people to fall over to her free will but I get where it came from. It came from her family and her New Church teachings who teach people to be very selfish and self centered. Now they may argue this all they want but from close examination of Swedenborgs writings and the close minded and selfish replies from Pastor Coleman Glenn and others I have come to that conclusion. I do not say that to be mean it is just how they have presented themselves. It seems to me if Swedenborg really believed in the Bible then he would have not tried to remake or revise it in his image. He also remade God in his writings into a Human God making the concept of Humanity in Divinity. Oh Zeus can you say Mt. Olympus. It is plain and simple as this people. Swedenborg didn't want to follow what was in the Bible and he wanted people to give into the desires of the flesh, to accept evil, and to do whatever they wanted when they wanted and that is why he couldn't follow the old model of Christianity. There were too many rules so he made up his own. I mean this is put in Lamens terms if you really want me to get scholarly and point out both in Scripture and Swedenborg's selective works I can do this. I am not just blindly saying this or trying to put down or discredit the Church of the New Jerusalem. You have to admit though that all the guy did was ghost write behind the Bible take the parts of it he liked and disliked and he put them in his own words. I don't care if it offends anyone in the New Church and you hate me I am going to let other Christians know about your faith and how you both treat people and how you use Swedenborg to justify sin, desire of the flesh, and hypocrisy. If you dont want me commenting on these things then don't post things online you are not willing to back up or say things that you know are hurtful to other people of other faiths and expect not to have the same done to you. So what of the Hunger Games video above Byron? Well it is simply put. I am about to set a fire to the New Church theology and you have Pastor Glenn and Rachel Myatt to thank for that and all those Clergy who scoffed at me. See when I hoped that Rachel and I made peace she hid, she only thought of herself and her feelings, and when she was supposedly in a relationship with me in the end it was all about her. So now it is not only about her, her family, and the New Church it is going to be a movement. Not only am I using this story in the foundation in stopping Religious Bigotry but this story is being told worldwide to people of lots of Christian and Non Christian religions and just like it was Rachel's free will to be evil and make accusations about me and my family that were not true I am telling truth and showing what not only she said but what others in the New Church said. See when you have facts and statements on your side instead of just accusations like calling a grieving person mentally ill because you cant face up to the consequences that you got into a relationship that you didnt want to be in so you have to be cruel to someone who loves you and was willing to leave you amicably, well then Rachel Myatt you are getting what you deserve and you are hurting all those around you. So be it. Im ready to level the ground with your Hypocrisy, your double standards, and your insensitivity Church of the New Jerusalem. I came to you in peace and love and now I will protest in the same manner. You can always change the outcome but it seems like all Rachel and others want is to hide and pretend that it will just go away. I am sorry but the more you hide the more it is out in the open and I wont back down.
The past couple of months have put me on the fence about what I should do and say in my newsletter but in my upcoming newsletter it is specifically addressed to people in North America both the U.S. and Canada and it touches on not only how Rachel treated me as a person due to the New Church theology but how that translates in moral and social terms. I got replies from many Pastors making excuses and trying to make me out for some villian for voicing my freedom of expression. First of all this is a true story it really happened and I not only came to you and have tried to make peace and amends with both Rachel and her family but I came with love to people in the New Church. I was your brother and when I needed you the most you made excuses and turned me away. When people are grieving they need support and I came to Rachel and the Myatt family at a time when I was down and out and at my lowest because I thought I would be loved there. For whatever reasons they couldnt see all the love I had in my heart for them and Rachel couldnt fathom that a guy could love her so much and want her with all his heart. I wanted her with all my heart because I had given my heart to God. Most of the other women who have treated me in a manner such as Rachel you know what we have all made peace and we are friends again. I never hold grudges but in Rachel's case I have been drawn to speak out against not only her but the Church of the New Jerusalem. I can pull up countless emails from New Church Pastors and Representatives saying that the kind of arrogance and prideful behavior that Rachel displayed has happened before. So let me ask you this New Church Clergy and Laity? If this is not an isolated incident and people are turned away because of your selfish and close minded attitide then maybe God is trying to tell you something. I am being used as an instrutment to show you the error of your ways. I am not claiming to be a prophet or anything that I am not. I am just a man who is going to show others about the fallacies and the cruel way I was treated and how I was given the runaround by people such as Pastor Glenn, Cooper, and others. I want Rachel and the Myatt family to know it was not alright what Rachel did and how she treated me and that what she said was damaging and life changing and if you have to hide and it has affected your livelihood then it is your own fault. You coddle Rachel and the fact is she needs to spend more time around adults to appreciate adult relationships and others outside of her family and you know this to be true. I was her friend she was my best friend, my confidant, and all the love I had for her was true and it was and still is of God. The past year has brought me great joy especially two days ago when I made peace with the only other woman I could say I loved as much as Rachel but this person after 15 yrs had the courage to come to me and say I am sorry and I did love you, and you meant a lot to me. She just at the time didnt know how to deal with someone with a love so true and strong. We were teens and early 20s. I expected Rachel to be more mature being mid 20s and already with a child and to have more responsibility and to tell the truth. The truth is I always gave Rachel and out. A lot of this stems not only from the fact that she made fun of me in my grief and cause me and my family considerable pain but it also comes from the fact that she did not have the courage to look me in the eyes and say that she did not want to be with me. I asked her and I would have been fine with it but instead like a coward she waited two days and did it like a text because she didnt want to be woman enough to look someone in the eyes and say No! I was bigger and better in that regards in that I was prepared for her to say No and I would have accepted it. What I cannot accept is not only did she build up false hope for a relationship, be intimate with me, and not be truthful with me but she slandered me and my family. I know way more about mentally ill people than she will ever know and I have never been on any medication nor have I been diagnosed with anything. I was simply trying to deal with grief and to love others at my time of mourning and she couldn't see that instead there was something wrong with me. I'd love to see her reaction when Jane Myatt her mother dies and then come laugh in her face because basically that is what she did to me. She tell me she loves me then kicks me in the head and laughs in my face. No one deserves that. So when you are judging me for writing this blog and for putting out my newsletter just remember not only did I come to Rachel and her family with love to try to resolve this but I came publically and privately to many New Church Clergy to try to make peace with you and get you to understand what I was feeling but you didnt truly listen. On your NewChurch.org page there is a page this week about this kind of behavior http://www.newchurch.org/connection/issues/living-authentically/see-no-evil.html Not only have I done and said things to hurt Rachel on this blog but I am truly sorry and remorseful but I dont regret it because some of them need to be said. During the course of our relationship all Rachel did was find flaws with me and all I did was accept her flaws and love her for what was inside. What kind of woman would want a man who doesnt love her whole soul and whole hearted. I loved Rachel from her crooked smile to ever strand of hair and I still do. I consider her my sister in Christ and my best friend and I have never give up on her. Make no mistake this blog and this worldwide campaign isnt to get revenge on Rachel it is to let her know that with God with strength from His Power and guidance we can do anything we put our mind too. What I want, what I pray for? Not only for Rachel and the Myatt family to reconcile and get in touch with me but for New Church Pastors and Clergy to pray with me and for me so we can be friends and coexist in Christ beautiful world. I will end this simply with I love Rachel and Jonathan Myatt with all my heart and being and Rachel if you can't see that you are hurting someone everyday you pretend like I am not there. If you want to use the tree in the forest or "Outta Sight, Out of Mind" excuse it is just not true I am alive, I am well, I love you and I would go to the ends of the earth and tell all about myself just to let you know that and that is exactly what I am doing.
Jesus Christ I am calling on your to make things right and ask for your help, your guidance , your love and strength. I love Rachel with all my heart and I don't want to hurt her anymore but let her know that she hurts me everyday. I want peace with her, I want to hear her voice, I want to end what brought us apart. I ask that you give everyone an insight into my heart and anyone that wants to ask not be afraid to come to me. I have never loved someone so much and I need your help Lord. I need Rachel and I love Rachel and Jonathan and I havent always chose the best way to show it but I admit my flaws and ask your forgiveness and for you to show me the correct path through discernment, faith, wisdom, and humility. I love you Rachel and God is my guide. God Bless ALL
Dear Readers, A couple of days ago on Facebook I had left a message for the only other girl besides Rachel who had broken my heart where it was catastrophic. She was one of my best friends and we hadnt spoken for years but I took a chance and for 3 months her reply sat and I didnt know it was in my box. I rarely ever go to Facebook because it pains me to see the pictures of Rachel, Jonathan, and I, and I refuse to take them down. Anyways the other day something special happened. She and I made peace. She told me what she was going through at the time and why things happened and there is peace between us. This is someone who hurt me almost as much as Rachel except after the first time she walked away she came back. So I knew she always loved me it just wasnt how I wanted or needed at the time and so she felt she had to walk away. The good thing about that even though I was upset at her I never stopped loving her and us being so young at the time I was 22 and she was 19 when we met so much time has elapsed and we were able to grow spiritually and not a day has gone by when I haven't thought about her. In the case with Rachel though it seems to be a destructive pattern of behavior because she did to other men what she did to me but not on the scale and with the smoke and mirrors as she did to me. All I have to really say to Rachel Myatt and Pastor Glenn is this. You say you live one way then you act another. In one of his first emails to me back in 2010 and if anyone wants to see it I can pull it up for you. He says that he believes God has a plan for us , yet none of us know what it is but constantly eludes this by talking about free will and man's nature. It is man's evil nature that has gotten religion to the place where it is. It is nothing more than a vehicle for man's selfish desire. I don't know how members of the New Church view God because they say they love Him yet they seem to put their desires, selfish impulses, and wants before doing what is right. I find it ironic how Pastor Glenn is engaged and put me down for wanting the same thing with Rachel and patting Rachel on the back basically for playing with something that God instills in us. If I wanted to play games I would have been a bachelor and a secular worldly type. I could get sex and party anytime but not only did I enter into a relationship with Rachel but a long distance one, and I trusted her and gave her my trust. I was willing to take on the responsibility and love her child Jonathan as my own. Also I was willing to study and be Baptized in the Church of the New Jerusalem but not only was I abandoned by Rachel but by the Church so the Pastor really needs to think back to all the excuses and things he said to me because I am carefully devising what I say to point this out in my print newsletter. I mean your relationship no harm Coleman but you have to be put out there like the public figure you are if you say you believe in one thing but you do another and that is your double standard and hypocrisy so if it brings you and Anne discomfort in my pointing that out I am sorry but I have the strength and will to do what is necessary to be done and said and I am without regards for your feelings at this time much to how you cared none about mine. In the end it all boils down to this God's Will and his guidance is above what we selfishly want. One could make the case for me being selfish for wanting a family but in the context that I wanted to acheive that by courting what I thought was a good Christian woman, accepting her flaws, insecurities, and perfections, accepting her child and willing to love her and her family unconditionally even coming when there was a crisis and death in my own family. My unselfish mother wishing me to be with Rachel on her deathbed should tell you people something. So Rachel Myatt and Pastor Coleman Glenn and Church of the New Jerusalem if you dont like what I have to say dont listen but I am spreading the word and I wont hold back or look back. I reached my hand out to you to make peace and forgive and I got nothing but an empty hand full of air and insults.
After lots of praying and consideration I have decided to no longer hold back and wait for Rachel or Pastor Glenn or anyone to try to reconcile this matter with me. They obviously dont care about evil and the more I think about it the more I read into that both the Church of the New Jerusalem and The Swedenborgian Church of North America embrace the evil and just accept it. You know what Rachel doesnt deserve to be loved like I loved her and she deserves the ridicule, the public display, and the truth of what she did deserves to be put out there especially using God to put down another. Pastor Coleman Glenn I am happy that you are engaged but your hypocrisy needs to be put out there and your behavior towards me when all I wanted was to be loved, happy, and enjoy the same love you are enjoying needs to be explored. I remember how you treated me and I cannot forget that and how you basically stuck up for Rachel lying to me, playing with my want and need to be a husband, father, and giving her a good Christian courtship. You want to have a double standard so I am putting your and Anne's engagement out there and show the words you used in treating me the way you did. Maybe I should not even try to be loving and just embrace evil, double standard, make God in my own image so I can sin and hurt people, and just do whatever I want to and believe there are no consequences because some man, not God had a vision. Well this is the truth, this is a public declaration, and so goes it Rachel Myatt, Pastor Coleman Glenn, and the Church of the New Jerusalem. Im putting it out there as of tomorrow by way of printed newsletters and I am never looking back. I wanted peace, love, reconciliation and had nothing but respect and love for you all. The Beth Orton song above "I Dont Want To Know About Evil(I Only Want To Know About Love)" thats how I used to live my life but since you ignore me I am just going to live my life your way not caring what happens to anyone else because its ok to lie, betray, and be dishonest and embrace evil things because there are no consequences.
Dear Readers, I am just going to say a couple words tonight and say a prayer. First of all I want to say I Love You Rachel Myatt and it has been almost 2 years and all the pain and hurt I still love you. Why cant you realize what God put us on this earth to do and that is to love. Everyday I have felt like a piece of me is dead because you insist that what you did , did not affect me or others or change my life it did and though it could have eaten me up to the point of hating you I dont. I dedicate this song "Rearviewmirror" by Pearl Jam to you. This song symbolizes that I have faith in God to make this right and how with Him we can do anything. I know through Him we can talk to each other and love each other again and I want to put all the negativity behind us. I want you to know you are loved by me and I will forgive you no matter what. You are my best friend please come back. I also want anyone who cares to listen to this sermon by Pastor Glenn Frazier in Austin about Humility and Shame. I never gave up on your Rachel Myatt and I am sorry if you and your family can't understand that. I was put down and hurt so much as a child and as a young adult I am so strong now because of God even in my darkest hours. It is because of God's love and strength. What Pastor Frazier said is representative of the love I have. We have hurt each other and I believe that no matter what we both can turn this around and all the pain can end. I put my faith in God and he alone. http://www.newchurchaudio.org/event/21211/popup.html I understand this all to well. I want to end this blog with a simple prayer.
Our Heavenly Father, Please give me the humility, love, and kindness to continue to love Rachel. Please let her know I love her and Jonathan with all my heart. I know that the New Church thinks that I am against them but I have been trying to show them all along that I love them, all those who have hurt me or transgressed against me I forgive them. I love Rachel and Jonathan so much and each night she and others cant see the tears I still cry. I ask for your help tonight. I lay down my heart, my soul, and my spirit and I put it all in your hands. I love them and I ask for you to give me the guidance, the patience, and the serenity to deal with this situation with Rachel. I do not seek to hurt the New Church with my campaign but I know you love me Oh Lord and please show me the most effective way to show them how much I love Rachel and how I love people of all religions, creeds, colors, and backgrounds and am only reaching out for the New Church to do the same. Rachel if you see this prayer then know God is my everything and I would humiliate myself, I would walk the world alone, naked, and poor, to have your friendship and love back. That is how much I love you. God bless all
