Forgiveness (Our Lord's Sacrifice and the Gift of Love)

This Blog is for Rachel Myatt, It is for the Myatt family, Pastor Coleman Glenn, the people in The Church of the New Jerusalem Dawson Creek, and for the New Church Worldwide.

After a year and a half plus of this blog I know what my truth and purpose is in life and part of it is to continue loving Rachel Myatt.  If she wants to ignore me and she and her family want to make excuses about making peace with me and contacting me then it is their loss but it doesnt mean I have to stop believing in Rachel or give into hate, despair, revenge or retaliation.  I leave it all and God's hands and I share with you the song by Lacuna Coil called "Heaven's A Lie" this is in response to how I was treated by both Rachel and Pastor Glenn and various other New Church Pastors and Representatives. I used this song because years ago I went to a Christian based concert and the headlining band who are a popular Christian band asked Lacuna Coil to tour with them. They were constantly demonized by self righteous Christians about the meaning of this song and when I met them they were very kind and spiritual people they didnt claim to be Christian but they defended the lyrics and the meaning behind their song.   I lashed out at you for being hypocritical but instead of seeing the love in my heart and how I was open to learn with you, most of you made excuses.  You made excuses for Rachel's evil's towards me, you defended her free will to be evil, but you didnt care about my free will.  My free will is one of love and that is always better than evil.  Its not ok to hurt people but if you are going to do things then at least show people some human decency.  Rachel was one of the most selfish people I ever met and she knew how much I loved her and didn't appreciate how much I went through to love her and her son.  She showed me no mercy or human decency as that I had just lost my mother, she was such a coward she had to text me from 2000 miles away instead of be a woman and tell me to my face she didnt want to be with me but then be contradictory the whole time telling me she loved me.  I was shown no human decency.  So how did I react.  I was ready to die but then when God lifted me up from the despair with love no one wanted to see that.  People such as Pastor Cooper and Pastor Glenn either wanted to skirt around the beauty of what I was doing or just ignore it fully.  Now we are at the point where you cannot ignore it and Rachel and Pastor Glenn are about to be the poster boy and girl for the New Church and their unkindness as I unravel my campaign in different cities this summer starting in a week or so.  I have found my purpose and that is to be strong and even when others put us down and doubt our love especially our love of God and our love of our fellow humans to just prove them wrong.  Follow in the footsteps of Christ and not in man's selfish pursuit of making themselves godlike or divinity in humanity.  This is something that some of the New Church people cant seperate the Divine Power of the One True God and their want for God to be a human embodiment and it makes them selfish and arrogant.  I want to wish everyone a Happy Easter.  This blog goes out to Rachel and her family, the Myatts, Friesens, and Bakers and this is to let them know that my campaign is about to take another turn and soon you will see the results in letters across North America.  If anyone is brave enough to contact me and doesnt want this information about my treatment about and how I was treated by Rachel and Pastor Glenn printed and distributed then please step forward and contact me.  Rachel you would be the one I would most like to talk to but it seem you dont care what I do because in your mind you probably think this is a joke and some kind of trick to get you to talk to me but as you will soon see my letters are real.  Just ask all the Pastors who got the Letters to Rachel letters in 2011.  You doubted me so much and kicked me when I was down all I ever did was love you and Jonathan and still do but yet you and your family ignore me. You think I will just go away.  So when I send the letters out next week and the results start coming back to you just remember I warned you.  I dont let people put me down and get away with it.  I dont let people doubt my love and not see how strong and determined I am.  Most of all anyone that plays with my love of God or my wanting to love them especially wanting to have a family like I wanted with you Rachel deserves to see how far I can go with my strength and endurance.  I leave you with two points from the New Church themselves.  I wish that Rachel and The New Church of Canada would take note on what I am pointing out and that I don't hate your Church I love you all as my brothers and sisters so I will incorporate these two things to end my blog today as they were both the inspiration for this blog this morning. On NewChurch.Org the first topic is on Forgiveness here is the link. http://www.newchurch.org/connection/issues/forgiveness/index.html

The second is an excellent essay on Forgiveness on the New Church Perspective site.  Here is the Link.  Forgiveness By Any Other Name by Vaishali http://www.newchurchperspective.com/essays/2012/4/6/forgiveness-by-any-other-name.html

This is the kind of love I believe in and the kind of forgiveness I am reaching out for Rachel Myatt, The New Church, and The Myatt Family to understand.  I will close this blog with a few brief words to Rachel Myatt

Here also is Pastor Coleman Glenn's Good Friday sermon. When I reached out and continue to reach out for love and forgiveness I get excuses and shunned but he would preach a sermon like this is sad and hypocritical to me and it saddens me because he doesnt follow what he preaches neither does Rachel go by this. http://colemanglenn.wordpress.com/2012/04/07/good-friday-sermon-the-lords-temptations/#more-318


Rachel Myatt I am not sorry I met you and I am proud to have had you in my life.  I still love you and Jonathan with all my heart and if you take the time to read this blog and the essays above from your own Church and doctrine you will understand where I am coming from.  My love is true for you and has always been of God.  Do you understand that I love you because of the Love Christ Our Lord and Savior has given me for you.  That will never change.

I ask that for Easter you contact me and end this between us.  I promise to take down the blog, never write again, pull down anything that you may feel would be hurting you and your family even though everything I have done I have done out of love for you and Jonathan.  I forgive you with all my heart for all you have done to hurt me and I ask that you look deep into your heart to do the same.  Rachel Myatt you were my best friend and I have no idea why you ran scared but I was scared at time too but I have put my faith in God and I have never given up on you and He has given me strength, wisdom, courage, and insight beyond what I could have hoped for because He is everything to me and my love for you is an extension of that love. I wish nothing but blessing for you and your family Rachel if you love me at all you must know that everyday you are away from my heart you kill a part of the good that is in me and I am reaching out to you to kill all that evil and for it to be good and for us to be best friends and denounce all that is bad between us and love each other. We may never be what we once were but I love you more than any romantic relationship I love you as my sister in Christ and if you want to ignore that then it is your loss.  I would give my life for you and Jonathan as I have said before and at the time when I was with you I did.  Losing my mother was one of the hardest things to do but even in my sadness I know coming to be with you was the right thing to do because even my dying mother, friends, and family saw the love I had for you and Jonathan.  I will never be able to love anyone else like I love you and Jonathan and you were my dream girl and being with you and your son was one of the happiest moments in my life.  I wont say anything else but that I love you and Jonathan,   Rachel Myatt.
God Bless
Amen


For Easter I ask for all to read one of my earlier blogs about forgiveness and for the Church of the New Jerusalem members if you havent read this blog read it it and listen to the video and see where my heart is and how much I love Rachel Myatt
http://iloverachelmyatt.blogspot.com/2012/02/greatest-acts-of-forgiveness-message-to.html

Rachel I Loved You Even In Your Imperfections

Dear Readers,

Before I go to bed I wanted you to know I love Rachel Myatt in all her flaws and imperfections and while she and her Church and Family hide from what has become of this I will continue to voice my opinion. I wont hesitate to share what is in my heart and I will do the one thing that I learned from Christ and  my Mother Rest in Peace.  I will love and continue to believe in people even the ones who hurt me.  This song is my favorite song of all time.  I posted another one of Curve's songs called Recovery not to long ago but I was a teenager when this song came out and I got to meet beautiful and gifted singer Toni Haliday finally in 1999 she had been a great inspiration in my life because of the words that her and Dean Garcia put to music in Curve.  I dedicated this to Rachel Myatt, To her family the Myatts, Friesens, and Bakers.  I dedicate this song to the Church of the New Jerusalem because when you take in this song then think of someone who does not want evil and who wants good for everybody.  The way I was treated by Rachel and Pastor Coleman in retrospect they only wanted what was good for themselves and it was a reflection on their New Church teachings. Ask yourself do you want the masses to know about a loving doctrine of God or do you want people to know not only do your members but a Pastor who I thought was supposed to be loving and caring toward others especially one who had faced cancer and death be cruel, biased, and uncaring to someone who had just lost a family member and was simply questioning the validity of what was being taught in the Church as dictated to me by Rachel Myatt.  I am sorry if The Myatt Family, Pastor Glenn, and The New Church thinks I am trying to attack them but this is all a reaction to Rachel Myatt's deeds, selfishness, self righteousness, and deciet.  I can forgive but I will never forget her words and how evil she acted toward me so it is out of love I share my story and I put it on paper and on the internet for as many people who I can reach because I want her to learn that being evil is never the answer.  Love and Charity Is. I loved you and still love you Rachel for all you are.  I don't do this to hurt you but simply open your mind and your heart to someone who you nearly killed with your attitude and if you have truly changed like Pastor Glenn tried to imply to me some months back then you will end this with me now.  If not then don't get upset when I am still telling my story and sharing it with other people.  I want to hear the peace come from your lips and I can let this all go.

love

God Bless All

Getting Even(with Love)

Despair and Deception, Love's ugly little twins
Came a-knocking on my door, I let them in
Darling, you're the punishment for all of my former sins
I let love in

The door it opened just a crack, but Love was shrewd and bold
My life flashed before my eyes, it was a horror to behold
A life-sentence sweeping confetti from the floor of a concrete hole
I let love in

Well I've been bound and gagged and I've been terrorized
And I've been castrated and I've been lobotomized
But never has my tormentor come in such a cunning disguise
I let love in

O Lord, tell me what I done
Please don't leave me here alone
Where are my friends?
My friends are gone
O Lord, tell me what I done
Please don't leave me here alone
Where are my friends?
My friends are gone
I let love in

So if you're sitting all alone and hear a-knocking at you door
and the air is full of promises, well buddy, you've been warned
Far worse to be Love's lover than the lover that Love has scorned
I let love in


Dear Readers, Rachel, Myatt Family, and Church of the New Jerusalem,
I want to talk to you quickly about getting even with people.  The best thing we can do to people who hurt us, put us down, and treat us badly is love them.  That is why Rachel cant respond and her family knows what she did was wrong.  That is why no one has called me on any of this because they know that in their hearts I am for the most part right.   Take a moment to look at one of the last lines from the song I posted above.  It is from the song "Let Love In" from the 1994 album by Nick Cave and the Bad Seed of the same name. 

"Far worse to be Love's lover than the lover that Love has scorned"
If you think about it for a moment that is what Rachel doesn't understand. She almost destroyed me as a person and my love for her and other people entirely.  Instead of try to understand what I was going through her quick judgment and selfish actions caused the aftermath of all this.  She wanted to talk about her rights and her free will but never thought about other people having those free will and rights too.  Like it is my right to tell this story and share with people how She, Pastor Glenn, and the Church of the New Jerusalem treat people.

It was Rachel's arrogance, inconsideration, and self righteousness that led me to this blog.  What was even more disheartening was Pastor Coleman Glenn's thesis basically each time I emailed on Rachel's free will. What about Byron's free will. Am I not free to love and if I am hurt and treated badly am I not allowed to react. See that is where the question lies. Rachel thought she could just be cruel, decietful, and lie and go back to living her life with no consequences for the things she did and that is what this blog is about. I am not going say much more today accept for this.  Rachel I love you and I am going to get even with you.  I am going to get even with you by loving you and continue to let everyone I can know how much I love you and Jonathan.  For putting me down and hurting me the best weapon I can use is just to let you see how you being unkind and unloving to me affected me by letting everyone know how much I love you.  I dont need to put down the New Church or do things to hurt your family or even you. All I have to do is write this blog and pass out fliers telling the story of my love for you with our picture on it and that is getting even with you enough.  I love you and I wish we could make peace but I know that you are so self absorbed and too full of pride to ever look into the good part of your heart that loves me to pick up the phone and be that courageous and end this.  Love always wins over evil so for Easter in honor of Christ sacrifice I am going to send my letter of love to different places all over the world.  If you or anyone in your family rejects to that or anyone in the New Church then respond to this blog and I wont do it otherwise it is a promise I will keep.  See the thing about me Rachel and the thing about you is if I say I am going to do something I will do it and make my best effort to do it just like I said I loved and believed in you. I never gave up on you. I kept loving you even when you mocked my love of God I still was your boyfriend and your dear friend and loved you. So you only have to blame yourself for what happened now.  What person who didn't love you would put so much time and effort into  things as I do.  I have a life which involves God, a sick family, work, music, and I am active in my community but yet I have time every week to show you I love you and want to make amends with you Rachel Myatt.  To her family if you understand the damage that has been done and you are part of the reason that she is not contacting me Get over it!  You know I love her and you know I love Jonathan and you had no idea how much love I had for all of you.  Think about Jesus love this Holy Week and think about what He did for all of us and now think about how I love Rachel so much and only want to follow His example and walk in His light instead of the demonic and evil ways of revenge, retaliation, and vengance.  Yes there is a big difference isn't there.  Love Wins!!!!!!

When you treat your other brothers and sisters in Christ with disrespect Rachel and Church of the New Jerusalem then you do not follow God's law.  I am strong enough, determined enough, and I am not afraid to say what is on my mind nor question the New Church publicly because of Rachel's actions. I am also not afraid to tell others of my experience with the New Church on a Grand Scale so let it be known to all that is also my labor of love.  I reached out to you and you ignored the true problem at hand. I called you out on religious intolerance and bigotry because of the things Rachel said to me. She got that attitude from New Church teachings yet you say all are welcome into the Kingdom of God but you blaspheme not only against someone who wanted to worship with you but someone who loved Rachel so much they pointed out this to the Congregation, the Pastor, and to the New Church Organization. So I am free to spread my word. I will end this blog today with a scripture.

Romans 14:15-17

¹⁵ If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. ¹⁶ Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. ¹⁷ For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,

Happy Easter Church of the New Jerusalem

I dont know how most people spend their days off but today I am going to donate some items to charity for the Tornado victims in my home state of Texas and then I am going to print some of these letters of love for Rachel and the New Church.  Love and charity is always better than being cruel, unrepentant, unforgiving, and self righteous


from Heavenly Doctrine 106 by Emmanuel Swedenborg
The presence of the Lord with men and angels is according to their state of love and charity. Charity is the image of God. Love to the Lord, consequently the Lord, is within charity, although man does not know it. They who live a life of charity are accepted as citizens both in the world and in heaven. The good of charity is not to be violated. They who are not in charity cannot acknowledge and worship the Lord except from hypocrisy. The forms of hatred and of charity cannot exist together.

I have reached out a hand and olive branch of peace to Rachel, her family, and the New Church yet they ignore it.  So in that passage from Heavenly Doctrine may they see the harm that they do when I am putting my heart and soul into loving them.

I Just Want You To Know I Love You Rachel Myatt/ Happy Birthday Jonathan

This Blog is Simply what it says. No matter what Rachel thinks of me and no matter how much she wants to ignore me. She knows deep inside that I truly love her and that was all I ever did.  I love you and Jonathan with all my heart and Jonathan I wish you the happiest of 7th birthdays I want you to know I love you and your mother and I hope that you are both blessed.  Whatever is keeping you from making peace with me and having me in your life again Rachel I wish it would subside and you could let go of the chains that bind you.  I love you so much I am willing to let you go forever and say goodbye all you have to do is call.  If not its your loss but until then I will continue loving you and spreading the word and letting others know.  I would give my life for you and Jonathan and you both meant that much to me.  I am sorry you wanted to make me out into something less and someone crazy instead of someone who believed in your love and all the promises you told me.  I will love you until the day I die even if you continue to abandon me and ignore me.

I am sorry if at anytime this blog has felt like an attack on you but it is not not meant to be. It was meant to show you the great power of God's love and that if someone truly loves you they never give up on you.  I just wish you and your family would understand that and even through all the hurt and pain I have been through I still love you Rachel . I still think the world of you.



God Bless All

Be Good and Good Will Follow (Making Good Win Over Evil)

Dear Readers,
Please take a minute to watch the first 35 seconds of this video from the animated short called Superman/Shazam! : The Return of Black Adam.   The words that little Billy Batson utter to Clark Kent couldn't be more true.  "Be Good and Good Will Follow".  After all I have been through especially with Rachel Myatt I still get up everyday and show love, kindness, compassion and humility.  In the time since Rachel abandoned me I have done many things but the one thing I haven't stopped doing is loving her. When that happens then the good in my heart is truly gone.  I want to say a few things today in this blog about the good in my heart that maybe people have overlooked in this blog.


I always believed in Rachel and even when she doubted herself I reassured her and I told her I believed in her love.  Just because other men hurt her and abandoned her didnt mean I was going to and she treated me the worst because I was the one willing to walk through fire to be with her.  What does that tell you about her character?  I was always willing to meet her halfway in our discussions.   I didn't turn her away because of her faith.  I never made excuses for loving her or being with her I just knew it was what God wanted and that I needed to follow this path.  In the end Rachel cursed me.  She acted like she was ashamed of me and what being with me would bring around her family and friends.  She called me all sorts of names, obscenities, blasphemed against my dead mother and had nothing but cruel things to say to me. Why? Because I loved her.  I truly loved her and besides her family she had never had anyone love her and believe in her like I did.  I saw the reactions on the parents of the kids that she took care of when they picked them up when I was there and I feel that some of them objected to me also and Rachel took that as a threat also to her being a foster mother and childcare administrator.  So she took that out on me too.  Rachel couldnt love me for who I was and I loved her for all she was.  She took the easy way out by being cruel, evil, and uncaring about anything I felt or that I loved her so it is always easy to take the evil or wide road out but it is never easy to take the narrow road of good and if Rachel,  The Myatt Family, and the Church of the New Jerusalem will take a moment to actually read this blog and see that I have taken a hard road of being good then they will open their eyes to what Rachel being silent and unresponsive is doing in killing my love to her.  Love is hard its never easy but it can be rewarding.  If we ignore it and push it aside and continue to hurt others then what we are left with is something even worst.

For you Church of the New Jerusalem or New Church Members,
Swedenborg talks about the truth being revealed after death since it is known to God.  Yet people like Rachel tried to decieve God and hide who they are as God is their own true Self.  I have nothing to hide I have put my life, my love, and my feelings out in the open for all to see.  I have let Rachel, her family, the Church of the New Jerusalem and all who wanted to see react, not react, and see what is in my heart.  That is what being good is about.  We admit to the evils so that we can move closer to the realm of good and to become the light , the wisdom, and the truth that is God.  Regeneration, Repentance, and Reaffirmation. These are what make us good people.

I was always appauled when Pastor Coleman Glenn would answer my emails and think just because I questioned his beliefs that I would hate him.  I have never had a hateful bone in my body but I have been hated by others for my skin color, for my love of God, and for just being who I am.  I know only how to love.  I have flaws like any other human being but the one thing I cant do because it has shown to me on such a regular basis is hate.  It meant so much to me to make peace with Rachel and if you cant see after all this time that I truly love you Rachel and her family then you are the ones who are not living up to your doctrine.  I have asked for peace with you, to talk, to make amends.   I will fly to Dawson Creek sit in a room with all of you for a couple of hours and come back home.  I will fly to Bryn Athyn and in a room full of people and testify my love for Rachel and give a testimony of how the Lord saved me to continue to love Rachel not to hurt her but none of you want ot hear that.  You want hurt, seperation, hate, and for Rachel to never be responsible for her actions.  You want to run scared and not post things up on the internet on facebook or youtube thinking I will use them against you but that is the furthest thing from my mind.  I put up the pictures on this blog as a symbol of my love for Rachel and Jonathan so Jessica, Sarah, Amanda I am not out to bother any of you or anyone else but to let you know I love your sister and she means the world to me.  Those are my words and that is my promise to you through the Lord.  I cannot break that promise.   If I wanted to Rachel I still have all the videos you sent me they were saved and I could have used them to hurt you and your family but instead I never did.  You think because I sent out letters to people and print fliers about the New Church I want revenge on you. It is far from the truth I do it because I love you.


Rachel Myatt I am trying to show you that without a doubt I love you and Jonathan and that I am the man who would move heaven and earth for you too.  You can make me into the villian.  You can try to make me look crazy, insane, a stalker or whatever people do when they want to put down people they have hurt but you know deep in your heart I love you with all my heart and that has never been my intention. 

I am saddened that you would ever say the things you did against and about me.  I am sorry you don't understand the grieving process or that my act of love to come see you and Jonathan at the worst time in my life was one of the least selfish sacrifices I could do.  My family even wanted me to come see you and Jonathan because they thought it would help with the healing and you cut me down, Put me down, then leave me for dead and yet here I am I still love you and believe in you. 

If you want to continue living your life hurting people, lying to them, and making a mess for others to clean up that is fine.  I just want you to know I am going to continue with my course of actions to show you how much I love you and hope you will have the courage to pick up the phone or drop me an email soon but just know Rachel I am not afraid of saying or doing anything anymore. You hurt me so bad you made me numb.  So I have no fear.  What I have is love and hope and when you have that it overcomes fear.  So yes I am doing all the things I say I am and it is up to you and your family to discuss the best way to deal with it.  If you want to sue me for loving you and taking my hurt out on you by blog and a writing campaign that is fine with me.  I have nothing to hide from a judge or a court of law and I will gladly tell the whole story and give everyone everything you ever wrote me and said to me.  I kept all the correspondence with all the Pastors and I have all the letters, fliers, and text and email conversations we had.  I have nothing to hide.  I am going to be Good Rachel Myatt by continue loving you with no regrets and I wont turn back.  I believe that if I continue to show you love and that you mean something to me you and your family will evalute the situation and realize that I really do love you and that I am worth a second look.  Until then God Bless and realize that I am not giving up or backing down. Just like Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ never gave up on loving us so I will follow in His footsteps and image and never give up on loving you.  I will take the narrow road to love and denounce the road of revenge, evil, and retaliation.


"The words that I speak to you, they are spirit and they are life" (John 6:63).

Rachel Myatt, Myatt Family, Pastor Coleman Glenn, Church of the New Jerusalem you say ou live by your doctrine but you open yourself up to hells by treating me the way you do causing destruction to the good you could do and causing inner chaos and destruction from within the Church.

Apocalypse Explained 817:3
[3] That those who separate the knowledges of truth and good from a life according to them, and who believe that they may be saved by these alone, were represented by "Cain," has been briefly shown in the Arcana Coelestia where Cain and Abel are treated of; to which this shall be added. It is written of Cain: That he was the firstborn of Adam, and that he tilled the ground, and brought of the fruit of the ground an offering to Jehovah; and that Abel was a shepherd of the flock, and brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof; also that Jehovah had respect unto the offering of Abel and not unto the offering of Cain, that therefore Cain's anger was kindled and he slew his brother; and that Cain was therefore accursed and rejected from the ground, and became a wanderer and fugitive in the earth; and that Jehovah set a sign upon Cain lest he should be slain, and decreed that whoever should slay him should have vengeance taken on him sevenfold

I am your brother in Christ.  You have wronged me and I continue to love all of you.  You make excuses through doctrine, you say you are charitable but Rachel in one of her greatest moments to be charitable was cruel, uncaring, and selfish.  She didnt live by her words or her doctrine yet here I am still loving, believing, and reaching out to her.  So if you can live your lives like that then remember I can live my life spreading the truth and not being afraid to say what is on my mind and what has been done. 


It deeply saddens me that it is Palm Sunday and last year for both Easter and Christmas I reached out for peace with this person.  Even put an ad up to make peace with her. What would Jesus have done?


God Bless ALL

Shattered Faith, Responsibility of Our Own Actions, Consequences of Dishonesty(A Message To The Myatt Family and Pastor Coleman Glenn)

This is a direct message to Rachel Myatt, The Myatt Family, and To Pastor Glenn and the Church of the New Jerusalem.
If you have taken the time to listen to the song and read the lyrics then it is all about having faith in ourselves.  Some of us are theist, some are agnostic, atheist, or we are of many different faiths, thought processes, and mindsets.  We always have a choice in what we do. Rachel had a choice she chose to be cruel and while she thinks hiding and pretending what she did was right or that just ignoring hte situation will make it go away it is not going to happen.  The damage was done and so now I share this story with people all over the world and instead of make things right with me and make peace she would rather bring shame on her family, her faith, and herself.  A few simple words in a phone call and this would all be over.  We always have free will. We have the will to love, to hurt, to lie, to be honest, and to tell the truth.   I take full responsibility for everything I said and have done.  I am not hiding.  Anyone can come see what I have written.  I keep my documents. I know the consequences of what I say and do.  If it causes me legal trouble oh well I am aware of that.  I dont blindly say things about Rachel or Pastor Glenn or the New Church without some kind of merit.  I have printed many fliers and told my stories and I will target key cities soon where there are Church of the New Jerusalem congregations.  I want to send a clear message to Rachel, To the Myatt Family, and to Pastor Glenn and the Church of the New Jerusalem.  I have free will too.  I chose to love Rachel and try to make things better even after she slandered me and talked ill of my dead mother.  I did everything in my power to make things right so I fought the good fight.  If Rachel or her family gets hurt by me telling the truth about what happened and discussing them it is on them.  I reached out for a long time.  It is up to them now I have always held out the olive branch but I see no one taking it.  My responsibility to be loving is in sharing this information about the New Church and Rachel.  It is my fate to make sure Rachel never treats a man like she treated me or the guys before her.  That she never lies or uses her faith a a crutch for people to love her or to say that no one accepted her faith because I did and that would be a lie.  I have emails to prove it.  If I have to post them in the next couple of days I will.  If Rachel wants me to go away then be a woman pick up the phone and I will go away forever.  I promised her last year all it would take would be a phone call and I would never write about her, say anything mean about her, and I would take down this blog but what did she do? Totally ignore it.  So if you want to live your life and continue hurting people Rachel Myatt that is cool.  If your family wants to coddle you in your fickle decisions and you let them make you feel like you dont deserve certain things that is fine.  I had people in my family like that but I told them I was  my own man and though I valued there opinions my life is my life to live.  So Rachel just remember you are free to live your life and so am mine.  You left me with hurt, despair, mistrust of women, the religious bigotry you expoused to me and most of all you ruined a  friendship and love so pure that it almost killed me.  So yes I have continued telling my story and it is on you and Pastor Glenn now.  If either one of you wants to end this and talk to me like a man I am here.  Rachel this is your burden though.  Think about all the pain and stress that would go away if you were woman enough to admit to being wrong.  You dragged so many other people into this and before I am done its going to get bigger and starting in the next couple of weeks I am going at this with full force. I am sorry you choose hurt, evil, and unrepentance over love, good, and true friendship.  You are truly lost to me and there is nothing left to do but make it known how you used me, played with my love for you and Jonathan, and messed with my dream.  I love you Rachel Myatt but you dont care. Why will it matter if everyone knows about you now?



Rachel Myatt you never appreciated the devotion, the honesty, and the dedication I had for you and Jonathan. You never appreciated my love of God. You never appreciated the fact that I wanted to be your partner and I loved you for all you were. You spit on my mothers memory with your cruelty and if your family was part of that then they spit on the blessing she left you all. I am sorry you were ashamed of me.  I am sorry you couldnt use human decency and respect me during a time of grieving instead of make outlandish and false claims.  I hope one day when your parents die that you will remember what a douche you were to me and how you treated me and you will understand how evil, cruel, and messed up a person you are.  You deserve for everyone to know who you are and whatever happens I tried to care.  I tried to keep loving you and do my best not to hurt you but your unresponsiveness lets me know its ok to tell everyone my story and you dont care how it affects you or Jonathan or anyone.  So I am sorry that I ever cared enough to love you and put my faith in the Lord to love someone so selfish and hateful as you.  You always had a choice Rachel and you have chosen to continue to hurt everyone.



God Bless All

Dear Jesus, I Love Rachel and I Need Your Help(Putting Faith In Prayer and God)

When Rachel and I decided to be together if you have followed this story one of the things I gave her was a scrapbook of how much I loved her and Jonathan, a promise ring, and a cd of songs that told a story of how much I loved her and wanted to be with her and Jonathan.  This was one of the final songs on the cd called "Love and Communication" by Cat Power.  It symbolized not only the beauty of the friendship we had and how we were able to talk out and communicate our feelings but the relationship we both had with God and that it was something beautiful that brought us together.  Maybe my choice of words in some of these blogs havent been very nice and some of my actions may seem harsh but the truth is I love Rachel with every being of my body and Jonathan too.  I am not out to get her as in revenge.  I laugh at anyone who makes the stalking or harrassment claim because I am simply voicing my feelings for someone who deep inside I know loves me.  I just wanted her to see through all this that even though she hurt me I still love her with all my heart and my promise to God means more to me than revenge, retaliation, or any kind of evil.  My mission in life is to love and if Rachel truly understood that she would lay down whatever walls she has up and make peace with me.  So below is my heartfelt plea for help from the  Lord Jesus Christ and to me this is serious and not a game and I hope it means something to anyone who reads this today because it is me barring my soul.

Lord Jesus Christ , My Heavenly Father,
I ask for your help today so that I may not fall astray into evil.  I need your help loving Rachel Myatt and letting her and the Myatt family know how much she and they mean to me.  Maybe they didnt see into my heart because of the tribulation I was going through following my mothers death but I loved Rachel, Jonathan, and had so much love for them all.  They didnt see that the person who was usually outgoing, funny, and always smiling had the weight of the world on his shoulders and for whatever reason I was judged.  I forgive them and I ask you forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to transgress against them.  Oh Father may your love shine on all of them and may you guide us to peace, reconciliation, and love.  Please give me the insight, the wisdom, and the guidance to deal with the New Church and to discern my battle with love and not with hatred, evil, or slander.  May I be able to use your Word and your Love to show Rachel that she is important to me and that when you Love us God that their is nothing we cant do even when it seems like things will never look up.  I have held on because of my faith in you Lord and I know you instilled this love in me for Rachel.  Rachel Myatt loves me and I know this. I know she doesnt know how to react to any of this but I ask Lord that you give her and her family the Love, the compassion, and open hearts to realize that I love them all.  You know what is in my heart Lord and that was never anything but to love people.  All these Machinations of evil that the Devil has tempted me with have worn deep into my soul.  I could hate Rachel and want revenge but I ask that you make people see the true love I have for her through this blog, through the power of music, and the love in my heart.  For all those who continue to look down on me, make fun of my cause, or persecute me I ask that you bless them.  I continue to love those people and as I have learned from your love in the past some of my greatest enemies have become dear friends.  I ask Lord that on this day you let the heart of the woman that you gave me love for to be opened to love me again.  I know through you Lord that love between me and Rachel Myatt can be established.  I love her and Jonathan like my own flesh, my heart, and my soul and I know you hear all my prayers.  Today this one means so much for me to hear because I would share it with the world because Rachel and Jonathan mean that much to me.  I ask continually for your blessing and kindness and please watch over Rachel, the Myatts, Friesens, Bakers, and all those in her family, Church, and all friends and loved ones.  I ask humbly as your servant for your consideration of my prayer My Lord.

Amen

Dear Rachel, Myatts and other family. Maybe Rachel has never known unconditional love from anyone but from family but to me she and Jonathan were family.  I was living to serve them and love them and I would do anything for both of them.  If any of you had anything against me and persuaded Rachel not to be with me which is how I felt then it saddens me. Her tone in her voice suggested that.  I love my family and friends to no end and I have had some pretty bad times with loved ones but they always come back.  Rachel means the world to me so I ask that anyone that is keeping her from loving me besides herself look into my heart and see that I was always meant to love her.   I will leave you with two scriptures from the Bible as reminders of how much I love God and how that love has extended to Rachel.  No matter how you percieve me I am human just like you and what has happened here is killing my love and you all know that is a sin.  Lets all put an end to it. God Bless


This scripture is for anyone who looks down on me and doesnt see that just like them I am one of God's Children.

Isaiah 53:3-4
“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.”       


This scripture is to let everyone know that music was God's gift to me was music even when I was at my lowest and Rachel abandoned me it was music that lifted me up because of Gods love and wisdom. So I incorporate it in the love I have for all of you.

Psalm 108:1

My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul.




God Bless All