Monument : Worshiping Ones Selfish Desires/Excluding the Prince of Darkness ode to Canada

Dear Faithful Readers,

It was Jane Child a young Canadian woman who made me truly fall in love with female musicians. Her 1989 album simply titled Jane Child was important to me for one reason other than the music.  It says Written, Produced, and Performed by Jane Child.  She did it all by herself.  At 19 and 20yrs old the fact that someone put in work like she did I was amazed.  The music was amazing and ahead of its time.

When Rachel Myatt and her cult New Church got under my skin a couple of years ago I always wanted to know this.  They want people to embrace both the good and evil but they dont want to admit to there existing a Satan or a Fallen Angel.  They don't want to admit to Original Sin because they don't take Adam and Eve figuratively.  To them it is just a fairy tale and illustration. It is also the reason they will always be a cult.  Swedenborg was a self indulgent, wannabe intellectual, he may have been smart scientifically.  He left holes open in his interpretation of the Bible that a pound of Swiss Cheese couldnt fill.  It is amazing that these pseudo intellectuals who call themselves evolved are so Pagan and so backwards in their thinking. They worship Swedenborg and denounce the Father and the Son and remade Him into a selfish Human god to satisfy their need for evil, lawlessness, and wrong doing.  So to the New Church and selfish, lying, backstabbers like Rachel Myatt I dedicate the song Monument by Jane's Father the late great Ricky Hyslop of Canada to all you.  Enjoy

Lonely Holidays: What Rachel Myatt Started(Nobody's Home)

Its Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. and I am completely alone.  My parents are both dead.  My brother has a steady relationship.  I have been lied to cheated on and abandoned to the point that holidays are the saddest time of year for me.  Last year the girl who I thought finally would love me just used me to get presents for herself and her kid then split two days before Christmas.  I learned that the world is a cruel place. In the last month I had my wallet, Ipad, and all my personal documents stolen.  Instead of become defeated it just made me work harder and made me more upset that good people keep getting kicked down.  I no longer trust anyone but God.  I leave it all in His hands.  I sit alone in this house today.  I remember Rachel Myatt and everyday it stings.  I loved you very much and not a day goes by when I dont think about you.  You destroyed what little faith I had left in women.  Before I die I promise you though the whole world will know of you.  I still have a story to tell and the time when I am willing to share that with the whole world is nearing. I've had songs for 4yrs and ones I've just written.  Ive taken guitar lessons, bass lessons, keyboard lessons to make sure what I share with the world is the deepest and truest music so you and your family The Myatts, The Friesens, and Bakers know what harm and hurt you put in my heart.  I loved you and believed in you.  Now my heart is empty and all it wants is revenge.  Not the kind where I go crazy and hurt people physically.  I am much to intelligent and smart to hurt others that way.  I want you the kind of revenge where you stop to think that maybe your New Church Doctrine is racist, extreme, and self centered.  I want the kind where you wake up and see that your lies, your cowardice, and your selective prejudice and racism hurt people.  I want you to know Rachel Myatt that I am coming for you.  I am coming for you through words, through song, and through pain.  You can hide where ever you want to or even change your name. People know the truth and you know the truth.  The next man you give yourself to I hope he knows what a liar, what a fake, and what an untruthful person you are.  I still hate you and I hope you choke on all your evils that you would rather embrace instead of someone who truly loved you.

Why Rachel Myatt, Her Family, and the New Church will always be Hypocrites

Dear Readers,

Above is a video from an episode of the original Degrassi High series entitled "Showtime".  I have this in my video collection at home because I grew up watching it I was a teenager when they were and it was very interesting to me.  They touched on subjects that other teen oriented shows wouldn't.  Sex, Pregnancy, HIV, Bullying, Abortion, Rape, and this episode is about Suicide.    If you have not read my reason for this blog existing then you need to go back to the beginning.  I felt like I should die because Rachel lied to me, said she loved me, led me on, and then turned her back on me when she said she would be there.  She slept with me, then tried to act like nothing happened, and worst of all she made promises she couldn't keep.  All of those things including my mothers death hurt more than you could imagine.  In the Degrassi story the character who kills himself, Claude has spent a year trying to make amends with Caitlin his ex, he also is looked on as an outsider at school, his parents had just divorced, and he feels totally alone. We all have been there but he never tried to talk to anyone about it and he selfishly tried to make others feel guilty about his actions in the end. 
While I know wanting to die was wrong I had every right to be in as much pain as I was.  Rachel and her family had promised to be there for me and I even had their words in plain proof that are on my blog.  Instead of open arms and understanding when I told them what was on my mind and what I was going through I got mean and disgusting people telling me I was crazy and mentally ill not knowing what I had been through. A person that loved Rachel enough that 3 weeks after my mom died I came to see her.  My mom wanted that too. She told me to live my life, love Rachel, and to be good to her. I was also told I didn't fit in and Rachel and her family are bigots of the selective type.  Because I am African American I wouldnt fit in with those good old Canadian Rednecks but I live in Texas with the Original Rednecks a term that originated with Southern people of American Origin.  I am sure I would have done just fine being a Native Texan all my life.  I have more than one Good Ol Boy or Gal for friends.  Its ok for her sister to adopt children of Black or African Origin but there was a problem with me. Wasn't I someone child, didnt I just lose my mother.  Because I am an adult Racism is supposed to hurt any less. No it hurts more because I understood it. Then on top of Everything Rachel and her family hid behind the most bigoted rigid Dogma of the Church of the New Jerusalem who are the biggest bunch of hypocrites ever.  They say don't do one thing but go ahead and do the same thing secretly behind your back.  The reason why I am writing this today is because I did truly love you Rachel Myatt.  I think you are a sad excuse for a friend, a girlfriend, and a mother.  You set such a bad example with men for your child and when he sees how you treat men he is going to take from that.  My mom didn't have the best example in my dad but it was because of my mom I learned not to treat women like my dad did.  I learned to respect them because of her respect for men whether it be my dad or others.  I am still angry at you and I am still campaigning against you and the New Church.  That will stop the day you reach across the line and make peace but until then this is a resurgence and a rebirth in my crusade against you and the Church of the New Jerusalem.

Songs About Rachel : 1st song of the real album - Lyrics

Holding Dark Scars on Your Heart

Do you really want to play the victim again?
Grab a match and set the world on fire instead
Stop blaming others for your failures
Accept what you cant change and become inspired my friend
Don’t let others hold you back from what you know could be great
Its never too late to fulfill your dreams and let go of the dead weight
The world is your oyster, its your playing field, it is yours for the taking
Stop sleeping, stuck in a moment, lying down in defeat you now are awakened.

You have a new beginning you could start
Stop Holding Dark Scars on Your Heart
Let the past be your guide to a future that can open you up inside
Become the one you were always supposed to be
All you have to do is believe
I know right now it seems real hard
Let go of pain and you will go far

So the one you thought was forever doesn’t love you
It wont be the first or the last
Don’t waste your time with it just let it pass
In time you’ll see that life is full of gifts
If you just have faith in it
When you thought you needed someone or something
Be firm and in the end you are all you need
Strong enough to bend and deep enough to bleed
Wounds may heal in time but you never have to be broken down and blind

You have a new beginning you could start
Stop Holding Dark Scars on Your Heart
Let the past be your guide to a future that can open you up inside
Become the one you were always supposed to be
All you have to do is believe
I know right now it seems real hard
Let go of pain and you will go far

(Bridge)
Sometimes the finish line looks so far
We get tired worn out and want to give up
When reach out destination the reward is success
Don’t cheat yourself of self preservation, love, and happiness…………… Be Blessed

You’ve broken through chains
Walked through fire and got burned
In the end you are a soldier many lessons you have learned
Ready for a warfare no one is really ever prepared for.
Now you see the purpose of life
Light triumphs over Darkness and you shine forever bright.

You have a new beginning you could start

Stop Holding Dark Scars on Your Heart

Let the past be your guide to a future that can open you up inside

Become the one you were always supposed to be

All you have to do is believe

I know right now it seems real hard

Let go of pain and you will go far


You have the chance to make amends
Be the one that forgives and forgets
Let it fuel you but still go on
Your destiny is a candle

When you reach your journey’s end
You will learn to love and trust again
If you remember this little part
Stop Holding the Dark Scars on Your Heart…..

(c)2014 Belligerent Hate Music

Sorry Im Not Sorry

Rachel Myatt,

One day when I am standing on a stage accepting an award for the story and the music I am about to release to the world you will get it.  It was all because you were truly loved and you and your family were just too blind to see the pure love in my heart I had for you and Jonathan.  All you have to do is email or write a letter and I would take this blog down, I would stop my campaign, you insist on making yourself a public spectacle still and embarrassing the New Church.  You know what.  Sorry Im not sorry and I dont care what happens to you when I tell the truth.  At least I have honor and people can trust me.  You cant even choose a man who wouldnt lie to you about loving you.  Oh thats right you had a baby with a guy who knocked up two other girls at the same time.  That is why I am sort of glad you didnt give me the time of day now. I never claim to be better than you but you and your family did that to me. I dont turn my back on my word.  I dont backstroke on everything just because of some religious dogma that says I can.  Also I always meant it when I said I loved you and while millions of people know your name and you try to slip into obscurity.  Remember I reached out to you for 4 years and you never once answered.

Sleater Kinney : The Greatest Female Rock Band Reunite!!! Why Can't Rachel Step Up and Reunite with me?

So here we are my friends.  Sleater Kinney. Besides my mom these are the woman who taught me to love, respect, and truly see the worth of a woman.  The greatest female rock band ever and one of the greatest rock bands of all time.  They reunited today to a hailstorm of press and good will. Even better is the lady behind the mask in the video is another one of my heroines.  Miranda July.  If you check this blog you will know she is the star and director of my favorite movie "You and Me and Everyone We Know" a great performance artist and someone for people to look up too.  Anyways my point here is that sometime in the next 6 months I will be releasing songs from "Songs about Rachel" with this news about Sleater Kinney they gave me even more strength to follow my dreams.  I want the whole world to know.  Also I want to be free of the hurt, the burden, and any pain Rachel inflicted on me and my family so I am just going to let it go.  


If you kept up with my blog at all know that I am passionate about the people who shaped my life and through great music and the feminist movement.  Corin Tucker, Carrie Brownstien, and Janet Weiss collectively known as Sleater Kinney had a profound effect on my life.  Rachel Myatt so did you.  I call you out today Rachel to make peace with me and to love me again like I love you.  You were my best friend and much like the music friends can make, love is the best music of all.......  http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6289151/sleater-kinney-album-reunion-tour

To The Girl Who Was Too Blinded By Family, Societal Norms, and Religious Bigotry to Realize She Was Truly Loved

Rachel Myatt was loved and adored by me as was her son Jonathan.  She chose to let New Church Bigotry, Comments by her family, and just being a coward in general stop her from truly being loved.  She in turn was cruel, hateful, and evil after saying she loved me and wanted to be with me.  I take full responsibility for every thing I say and will say.  If she truly were a Christian she would reach out and bury the hatchet with me but she wont because if you look at a lot of the New Church peoples views on forgiveness they are selfish, half hearted attempts and they are just preaching to the choir but not living by the same standards.

This is the reason New Church People cant evolve this is the most ludicrous douchebag view of forgiveness I have ever seen I laughed and thought no wonder Rachel cant forgive. Shit like this is being shoved down her throat and being conditioned into the hearts of people like they are somewhat above forgiveness. http://www.newchurch.org/connection/issues/issues/exploring-jesus-as-god/new-perspectives-video.html  Hey she doesnt owe me anything though. Its like the subject in this video skirts around the fact of forgiveness, nor barely acknowledges it could come to fruition. Anyways just another way to expose the falsities and fake smiles in the Church of the New Jerusalem.  Rachel you were loved but you threw it all away for societal stereotypes and social norms.  You know what I say your loss and what ever rock you are hiding under you are about to have to come out. Here is one last video for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFEmTsfFL5A

You will always let your family and your religion rule you instead of you letting God take a hold of your life and truly set you free.  You are a coward who hides behind them because you cant stand up and be yourself.  At least I say what is on my mind. At least I have to guts to fail even if miserably and then fight another day. You were only worried about parents not letting you babysit their kids because you had a black boyfriend, you were let your mom put shit in your head about mental conditions when she had no idea what I was going through morning my mother and dealing with my father. Most of all you lied to me when you said you would be there to me.  You broke your promise.  So that is what you will have to deal with the rest of your life and you will never be free. I live everyday free and just laugh at the fact that you missed out and when you finally think you are happy and you are destroyed you will remember me you piece of shit.