Dear Readers,
Above is a video from an episode of the original Degrassi High series entitled "Showtime". I have this in my video collection at home because I grew up watching it I was a teenager when they were and it was very interesting to me. They touched on subjects that other teen oriented shows wouldn't. Sex, Pregnancy, HIV, Bullying, Abortion, Rape, and this episode is about Suicide. If you have not read my reason for this blog existing then you need to go back to the beginning. I felt like I should die because Rachel lied to me, said she loved me, led me on, and then turned her back on me when she said she would be there. She slept with me, then tried to act like nothing happened, and worst of all she made promises she couldn't keep. All of those things including my mothers death hurt more than you could imagine. In the Degrassi story the character who kills himself, Claude has spent a year trying to make amends with Caitlin his ex, he also is looked on as an outsider at school, his parents had just divorced, and he feels totally alone. We all have been there but he never tried to talk to anyone about it and he selfishly tried to make others feel guilty about his actions in the end.
While I know wanting to die was wrong I had every right to be in as much pain as I was. Rachel and her family had promised to be there for me and I even had their words in plain proof that are on my blog. Instead of open arms and understanding when I told them what was on my mind and what I was going through I got mean and disgusting people telling me I was crazy and mentally ill not knowing what I had been through. A person that loved Rachel enough that 3 weeks after my mom died I came to see her. My mom wanted that too. She told me to live my life, love Rachel, and to be good to her. I was also told I didn't fit in and Rachel and her family are bigots of the selective type. Because I am African American I wouldnt fit in with those good old Canadian Rednecks but I live in Texas with the Original Rednecks a term that originated with Southern people of American Origin. I am sure I would have done just fine being a Native Texan all my life. I have more than one Good Ol Boy or Gal for friends. Its ok for her sister to adopt children of Black or African Origin but there was a problem with me. Wasn't I someone child, didnt I just lose my mother. Because I am an adult Racism is supposed to hurt any less. No it hurts more because I understood it. Then on top of Everything Rachel and her family hid behind the most bigoted rigid Dogma of the Church of the New Jerusalem who are the biggest bunch of hypocrites ever. They say don't do one thing but go ahead and do the same thing secretly behind your back. The reason why I am writing this today is because I did truly love you Rachel Myatt. I think you are a sad excuse for a friend, a girlfriend, and a mother. You set such a bad example with men for your child and when he sees how you treat men he is going to take from that. My mom didn't have the best example in my dad but it was because of my mom I learned not to treat women like my dad did. I learned to respect them because of her respect for men whether it be my dad or others. I am still angry at you and I am still campaigning against you and the New Church. That will stop the day you reach across the line and make peace but until then this is a resurgence and a rebirth in my crusade against you and the Church of the New Jerusalem.
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