Dear Rachel and Readers,
This is what is true and what is from my heart today. The above video is from the worldwide hit album "Burials" by AFI(a fire inside) the song is called "I Hope You Suffer". I am such a dedicated fan of this band that I belong to for life their fan club the Despair Faction and no matter how great or small their fame they have helped me through tough times. This has to be one of the best songs of their career but today I want Rachel Myatt, The Myatt and Friesen families of Dawson Creek, British Columbia, Canada and beyond to know the pain that they have cause and that this song goes out to them. Thank you Rachel for disrespecting my mother and me as a person who loved you. Thank you for disrespecting a single man who loved you even 2000 miles away and wanted to be a both your loyal boyfriend, one day your husband, and adoptive father to your child. I loved you and Jonathan but you spit on all that. I hope one day when your parents die you look down that empty hole that is your heart and remember how you laughed at my pain and disrespected my family. I hope your Grandfather Cornelius Friesen turns in his grave every time I utter what a horrible person you are. Your Mother and Father should be ashamed at raising such an insensitive selfish bitch. I was in love with you for real but all you cared about is past glories with Jonathan's father regaling fucking stories of lust and love with him. You know what maybe one day I hope he takes you back and you are happy together because you messed up something good with someone who truly loved you for him. I hope Amanda and all your other sisters know what a backstabbing sister you were talking about them on the phone behind their back all the time and how you belittled your Aunt Brenda all the time. "I Hope You Suffer". I hope you know when I lash out at Pastor Coleman in my next blog for his part in this that you realize that your selfish actions cause other people to hurt. It was always about you though. That is why you cant show your face anywhere at least I am a man. You can still find pictures of me on the internet even after all I have disclosed about myself, about my abuse, about your lies, about all the bad things that happened to me because when you truly have God you don't care. None of that can hurt me. Like Job I will be strong even if I fall He will lift me and make me whole again as He did when you abandoned me and spit on me. So you know what Rachel Myatt I love you in my heart but I don't have to like you or your family and after the unforgiving , and the non reconciliation, and the trying to just pretend I didn't exist you will know I am still here and this Christmas I have something so big to unleash on the New Church it will make you never want to step foot in the Church again and only you can stop it. You don't care if you hurt others though because if you did you would have reached out to me and ended this years ago but you are still a spineless self righteous cunt and you don't and wont ever have a back bone. You set that example for your son you teach him not to apologize and you treat men like your play things and he will do the same to women because of your sick obsessions and manner. Am I angry after all this time yes, Am I wiser, Yes, I am also a Taurus and I have had time to slow simmer what I am going to do about what you did so the Zeal your Pastor Glenn talked about in your recent sermons well that is the Zeal I have in showing you how bad you hurt me and almost destroyed me. I just want you to know what a horrible, deceptive, manipulative person you are Rachel Myatt and "I Hope You Suffer". For your lies, for your pretending I never existed, and for playing with my true love. Fuck you and your family for not being real and for disrespecting my family you can all go to hell.
In a statement regarding the album, AFI frontman Davey Havok said, "This record is of silence, and the burials that result from that silence. It's of betrayal, cruelty, weakness, anxiety, panic – deep and slow – despair, injury and loss. And in this it is shamefully honest and resolutely unforgiving".
Rachel's Silence all these years to my honesty and openess to her walking away from what she created and did is just that. I live everyday full of love and help others but she is the one person I hate, because she betrayed all the goodness in my heart so may her soul and spirit be damned until the silence is broken.
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